The Pros And Cons Of A Surprise Proposal Of Marriage

Maybe you’ve been together for years. Or maybe you’ve had a whirlwind romance. Perhaps you’ve been talking about forever, like forever. Or it could be that you’ve had a wedding plan in your head since long before your current beau arrived on the scene. So what on earth do you do if he suddenly throws himself to ground on one knee with a box containing a flashy ring? Laugh? Cry? Look puzzled? And those four incredible words pour from his mouth… ‘Will You Marry Me?’

Many girls dream of the day someone declares their undying love and promises to stay with them forever. But dreams fade or they may just not be relevant to your life today. The main problem with your fella suddenly and surprisingly proposing is that you feel pressure. You have to think fast and give a single syllable answer straight away. Yes, or No. It’s not fair to you, and the answer you choose could break his heart.

[Photo courtesy of Harold Litwiler/]

So what is he doing it for? Did he run out of ideas for Valentine’s Day? Or maybe he saw an offer on engagement rings he just couldn’t walk away from? The truth is, very few guys would propose marriage if they didn’t genuinely love and adore you. He wants to be with you, and he wants to demonstrate his commitment to you. But if you haven’t talked about it yet, how can you be sure you’re ready to offer that level of love back?

Another problem with surprise proposals is the ring. You didn’t pick it. When you watch a romantic movie, and the female lead character is offered a ring she’s never seen before, she loves it. This isn’t always true in real life. As women, we’ve probably perused the engagement ring counters a few times in our life. We have a pretty good idea where our tastes lie! You wanted something with beautiful colors like Australian Opal engagement rings have. He got a single diamond solitaire. What do you do?

Is timing everything for a marriage proposal? For it to be incredibly romantic (as it should be), then yes. The timing needs to be right for a proposal. But it needs to be the right time for you to be considering spending the rest of your life with this particular man. This is why so many couples talk about marriage for a while before jointly deciding to make it official. They may live together to test the waters. Perhaps a vacation away will identify any cracks in your relationship.

[Photo courtesy of Michelangelo Carrieri/]

Proposals can also be somewhat embarrassing if you’re shy. It brings a lot of attention your way from passers-by, party guests, other diners or whoever may be about. This can add to the pressure if you’re not quite ready to say yes. On the other hand, this could be that moment your love sweeps you off your feet with the most romantic gesture of all time. Swoon.

Perhaps every girl secretly wants the movie-style romance of a surprise proposal. Sure, you can swap the ring later. And engagements can last as long as you need them to. But that one moment of incredible bliss when a man drops onto one knee could be all the assurance you need that this love is for you.

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