I have been on denial these past few days, it is hard to accept that my nephew in-law already passed away on such a young age. I could even say the word  condolence or goodbye because I still don’t wanna believed he already left. I still want to believe he is alive, laughing and doing things he loves to do.

It was his funeral yesterday, it was the last time that everyone could see him. I wish I was there but my thoughts was there. We never had a chance to see each other but I can’t stop acting this way, I cried every time I visit his Facebook profile see his pictures and read all those messages written by their friends and relatives. Others might laugh at me because I am feeling so closed to them but what could I do? This is how I feel …. and this is how I care…

To ease this feeling I found comfort on listening to Christian music, with this I felt peace. I remember when my grandfather died on December 19 too, years ago. I was also very sad and while looking for something at my grandparents cabinet I found a new testament, my grandmother says my grandfather owns it and when I opened it I have read comforting words, and then when I am so down I always opened the bible and I always found a page that gives comfort,  I think my grandfather don’t want me to be sad I know it is ridiculous to think about that way but when one night that I felt so depressed and cried so much one toddler cousin from my maternal side  went to the room and entertained me he just keep starting grabbing my hair and did some silly moves, he want  me to go out and left the dark room,  in instant the kid was attached to me, and he keeps looking  for me the entire time we are on my grandparent’s place and there I thought my grandfather wants me to move on.

And today I woke up dreaming about my nephew in-law,  I can’t remember what it is all about, all I know is I dream of him and I found peace.

Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again. – William Shakespeare